Rantings of a sub-editor

April 30, 2010

Quantum nappies and football salad

Filed under: crimes against English,round-up — substuff @ 9:24 am
Tags: , , ,

A round-up of my favourite lexical creations in (or, largely, edited out of) this week’s issue.

Electrons were jumping in the world of nappies, which sounds rather hazardous from where I’m cowering:
“The new Pampers range is a quantum leap in fmcg innovation.”

One writer was clearly hankering for lunch when he wrote:
“The lifting of the food and mouth disease ban”

The ‘explanatory’ note at the bottom of a mammoth table of figures, though it could equally be the name of a hit pop song:
“We pro-rata within the ascribed grammage.”

A chewy kinda recipe, mmm:
“Consumers will also have the chance to win a barbecue by sending in their football salad related recipes.”

A misuse of ‘herald’, which should be used to describe a sign (quite often a natural sign) that something is going to happen, rather than a response to the knowledge that it is going to happen:
“Premier Foods is heralding the arrival of summer with a new Mr Kipling cake range based on classic ice cream flavours.”

And three examples of horrible things being done to nouns (in the third case particularly):
“Wispa Duo is a more portionable version of the standard single bar.”
“The four strong ovenable bag range from the Saucy Fish Co.”
“The challenge they face is how to do that on products with such low storageability and short life as cut flowers.”



  1. I don’t know – one could argue that Cadbury’s does actually herald the arrival of Easter with Creme Eggs…

    Comment by Freelance Unbound — April 30, 2010 @ 11:27 am | Reply

    • One could also argue that it certainly does not. 1) Creme Eggs are here all year. 2)’herald’ has an unpurposeful nuance – whereas Cadbury is nothing if not purposeful.

      Comment by substuff — April 30, 2010 @ 11:39 am | Reply

  2. “Unpurposeful nuance”???

    Comment by Freelance Unbound — May 1, 2010 @ 5:16 pm | Reply

    • Umm yeah… like I say, I’m going to have a deeper think about this one! Definitely have a bee in my bonnet about ‘herald’, but not quite sure exactly what variety of bee it is yet. 😉

      Comment by substuff — May 1, 2010 @ 7:13 pm | Reply

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