Rantings of a sub-editor

May 5, 2010

Still haven’t decided?

Filed under: page three,Substuff says... — substuff @ 9:24 am
Tags: ,

No? Well, luckily The Sun is here to help you. If you want to keep these lovely ladies warm in the bosom of the page three world, you need to vote Tory. Why? Because both Labour and the Lib Dems are considering changing the law to disallow page three girls (according to, umm, The Sun).

Only the Tories care about your morning titillation – and only the Tories care about these poor girls, whose only alternative to titillating the masses is to go on the dole. Big Tory bare-breasted hug!



  1. I hope this is a joke because otherwise that is just a complete bald-faced lie!

    Comment by Jen — May 5, 2010 @ 9:32 am | Reply

  2. I quote from the esteemed article: “And at a stroke the very liberties that put the Great into Great Britain will be torn asunder.”

    Comment by substuff — May 5, 2010 @ 9:34 am | Reply

  3. with respect, substuff…The Sun might well be lying to you…not like they’ve never done that before…

    Comment by Jen — May 5, 2010 @ 9:43 am | Reply

    • Oh really? Now that never crossed my mind. The Sun is almost the Gospel, no? 😉

      Comment by substuff — May 5, 2010 @ 9:46 am | Reply

  4. Who would have thought The Sun would get so desperate as to use lots of pairs of breasts to get tory votes! I wonder what Cameron thinks. Perhaps it was his idea. Tragically this is probably enough to persuade some of the readers of The Sun to vote blue!

    Comment by Louise — May 5, 2010 @ 9:46 am | Reply

  5. Apart from anything else, The Sun are performing a service to the journalistic community at large in terms of supplying for fodder for puns. I think it’s important to give equal attention to the left and the right in a case like this.

    They make a fair point (in an unconventional way). The two left wing parties are the parties of interference in personal liberty and PC meddling. They are willing to do absolutely anything to secure female votes, and they have prominent members who have it in for men. It’s the sort of thing that those two parties would try to ban, so vote for them if you think that page 3 should be made illegal. After all, if you don’t like page 3, it’ll probably be a while before they try to ban something you do like.

    Comment by Michael Reed — May 5, 2010 @ 10:05 am | Reply

  6. You are, I’m afraid, all missing the point.

    The Sun is quite plainly striking a blow for feminism and freedom of speech (and displaying oneself topless in a national newspaper is, of course, a speech act), as it showcases crumpet for thinking men (and women, naturally).

    Here is one of the girls, ‘our Poppy’, discussing the great John Locke and his influence on our country’s political system:

    “The basis of Lockean thought is his theory of the Contract of Government, under which all political power is a trust for the benefit of the people.

    His thinking underpins our ideas of national identity and society. Please don’t let those who seek to ban our beauty win. Vote to save Page 3!”

    How can our glorious country fail to make the right decision, when our young are truly such beautiful, intelligent people?

    Plato’s philosopher queen? Look no further than page 3, and arise, Poppy I.

    Comment by trenchard cleats — May 5, 2010 @ 12:11 pm | Reply

    • Ah Poppy and her feminist ways! Bare breasts are to the benefit of the people, it’s true – without them our national identity would melt like an ice cube on an overly heated nipple.

      Comment by substuff — May 5, 2010 @ 12:42 pm | Reply

  7. I don’t know – it’s no worse than much of what passes for political analysis these days…

    Comment by Freelance Unbound — May 5, 2010 @ 12:22 pm | Reply

  8. I’m surprised the headline writer didn’t choose “The breast reason for voting Tory”.

    Comment by Bill Bennett — May 6, 2010 @ 1:26 am | Reply

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