Rantings of a sub-editor

January 13, 2011

Perverted vacuum cleaners

Filed under: funny typos — substuff @ 10:58 am

There is really nothing I can add to the beauty of this typo. Enjoy.

This vacuum cleaner did a fantastic job of cleaning traditional wood flooring, sucking up dust and dirt from cervices with ease.  It comes with a separate hard-floor nozzle, but we found the standard one to be the most effective.

Oh. My. God. This made me spit tea. But the thing is, once you’ve been exposed to dusty cervices, your mind gets into a certain groove – a dark, dark groove. It continues:

It didn’t quite mange to match this outstanding performance on carpet and laminate, but it still did a great job. [Mmm, mange.]

The nozzle is designed well for reaching dust and dirt alongside walls and in corners so you won’t find a dirty rim around the edge of the room after you’ve finished vacuuming.

Pshhhht! Well I may as well just pour my tea directly on the keyboard, seeing as that’s where it’s going anyway.

So, here goes. Three pages of vacuum cleaners down, 33 to go. Who knows what icky delights they may hold.



  1. Vacuum cleaning a mangy cervix?

    Sounds pleasant.

    Comment by Kermit — January 13, 2011 @ 1:13 pm | Reply

  2. Do you think they meant to write surfaces or crevasses?

    Comment by Paddy — January 13, 2011 @ 2:12 pm | Reply

    • Crevices.

      Comment by substuff — January 13, 2011 @ 2:14 pm | Reply

      • Gosh, here is an interesting fact for a Monday morning (well I think it is interesting anyway…). I wrote “crevasse”, as in fissure or crack, without thinking that it could be spelt “crevice”, as you have done.

        Thinking I’d got it wrong, I then went and checked the dictionary and apparently “crevasse” is a deep crack and “crevice” is a narrow one. How fascinating that we should have two near identical words meaning very different things. Anyway, it seems like you are right – unless this is a very powerful vacuum cleaner.

        Comment by Paddy — January 17, 2011 @ 11:37 am | Reply

        • Oh yes – I think of crevasses being found in mountainous regions etc, while crevices are down the sides of sofas or between the folds of sumo wrestlers’ tummies.

          Admittedly, I also know for sure that the writer meant crevices. This little excerpt came from a 36-page set of vacuum cleaner reviews. Of about 20 reviews, 16 mentioned crevices. Four, however, mentioned cervices.

          Comment by substuff — January 17, 2011 @ 11:45 am | Reply

          • LOL Hey, substuff, this post actually made me go check the dictionnary (something I haven’t done in years) and look up many different words ala “cervice” 😀

            Comment by Karen from Appliance Freaks — October 24, 2011 @ 2:42 am | Reply

  3. […] You use a vacuum cleaner to do WHAT? http://rantingsubs.com/2011/01/13/perverted-vacuum-cleaners/ […]

    Pingback by You use a vacuum cleaner to do WHAT? htt « Writer’s Drift — January 13, 2011 @ 3:05 pm | Reply

  4. Had to read the first bit three times before I noticed the typo!

    What if I like having a dirty rim to my room?

    Comment by Simon — January 13, 2011 @ 7:04 pm | Reply

  5. […] use a vacuum cleaner to do WHAT? Posted by rcosgrove at 3:03 pm Tagged with: Appliances, Christmas, Cleaning, Dog, Home and […]

    Pingback by Cleaning cervices - Writer’s Drift — January 26, 2011 @ 11:50 pm | Reply

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