Rantings of a sub-editor

February 4, 2011

Single-sex schools: the perks

Filed under: bad things,head — substuff @ 3:10 pm
Tags: ,

Crikey. Thanks to the Gloucestershire Echo for this wonderful headline (via @MarcusDysch via @batterseaprince.)


January 17, 2011

Chinese bananas

Filed under: bad things — substuff @ 10:11 am
Tags: ,

Gotta love the Daily Mail. Which other publication would run a picture with this caption?

“Making London their home: Financier Andy Wong (right) with his wife Patti who is chairman of Southeby’s. They have been jovially nick-named ‘bananas’ – yellow on the outside, white on the inside.”

I love the addition of the word “jovially” to cancel out any potential, teensy weensy shade of a suggestion of racism. Sorted.

(Oh yes, and I think they mean Sotheby’s and nicknamed. I might even have snuck in a comma somewhere, too. But that’s just being picky.)

For more news on those cheeky yellow folks, see the story here.

December 8, 2010

Toilet sign – yuk!

Filed under: bad things — substuff @ 1:01 pm

Eww… thanks to Andy for this! The comments are worth a read, too.

October 20, 2010

Twitter twat

Filed under: bad things — substuff @ 10:36 am
Tags: ,

Not a post about grammar, words, or even office bitchery. Nope.

This one is about a nasty event that happened on Twitter this morning. I would report it to Twitter, but apparently a threat is only classified as a threat if it has:

  • Specificity (time and location where violent event is said to take place)
  • Physicality (description of what is to take place physically)
  • Violence (the event described intended to do harm)
  • I can’t meet these criteria, and neither can I block the individual in question. In order to do that, I need to be able to access his profile – and I can’t. Whether this is because he has already blocked me (so the harasser gets to block the harassee and the harassee can’t reciprocate?) or because Twitter isn’t quite working properly at the moment, I don’t know.

    This is what happened:

    substuff Cathy: My nostrils are ON FIRE but I can’t stop eating wasabi peas. (I know, I know, profound stuff.)

    asko_b Andreas: RT @substuff My nostrils are ON FIRE but I can’t stop eating wasabi peas. << I do prefer to hear: “My Pussy is on Fire!”

    substuff Cathy: @asko_b Err… a) who the fuck are you? and b) you can fuck RIGHT off! (Well, I never professed to be a lady.)

    asko_b Andreas: If you always reply in that manner you shouldn’t be astonished about anything that happens to you @substuff – “my” appreciated colleague.

    substuff Cathy: Pretty sure @asko_b (who I do not know and have never met or spoken to) just threatened me. Wtf?

    asko_b Andreas:  Addittional to say that I wasn’t talking about your “P…y” @substuff.

    I know nothing about asko_b – never heard of him before. His profile merely tells me that he’s German (I think) and he really likes lederhosen.

    So… just putting this here in case “anything happens to me” on the way home, y’know.


    August 19, 2010

    Pretty girls are cleverer

    Filed under: bad things — substuff @ 12:51 pm

    I’m loving this: “A blog exploring the hypothesis that UK newspapers believe that only attractive girls in low cut tops do A-Levels.”

    These ones aren't jumping, so probably only got B grades.

    August 4, 2010

    260 children on crack!!!

    Filed under: 11-year-olds on crack,bad things — substuff @ 9:19 am
    Tags: , , ,

    So said the Evening Standard yesterday. This isn’t the kind of thing I usually get my knickers in a twist about – that’s reserved for dangling participles and the like. But this made me really mad.

    The story included the following figures:

    • 260 11-year-olds have taken crack
    • 87 have used heroin
    • A further 260 have tried psychedelic drugs including LSD, magic mushrooms and ketamine
    • A total of 693 11-year-olds in London have tried Class A drugs
    • Almost 4,000 have used some form of drug within the last year, although the vast majority of these — around 72% — were glues, gas, aerosols or solvents.

    Hidden at the end, where any kind of non-panic-inducing news belongs, evidently, was:  “Overall, the percentage of 11 to 15-year-olds who have taken drugs has fallen, down to 22 per cent last year from 29 per cent in 2001.”

    But nowhere, nowhere at all did it say how many children had been questioned in the survey. Was it 4,000, in which case 100% of 11-year-olds are taking some kind of drugs? Or was it four million, in which case the proportion of 11-year-olds who have taken crack is 0.0065%?

    If you’re going to scaremonger, at least tell us exactly what we’re supposed to be living in fear of. I was quite disappointed to get to work this morning, not having been mugged by a crack-high 11-year-old rascal. I’d banked on at least a morning in hospital, where I would instantly contract MRSA, having been left on a trolley in a corridor, before being sexually assaulted by the doctor and having three pairs of scissors mistakenly left in my stomach. Boringly, I made it here safe and sound.

    May 10, 2010

    “We suggested that Ms Gascoigne had lied”

    Yes… some may think that the headline “You Lying Bitch” suggested that.

    News of the World subs: you need to insert a comma after “You Lying Bitch”, for one thing. And for another, what’s going on with the introduction of Sheryl Gascoigne? “Our article … referred to England footballer, Paul Gascoigne’s ex-wife, Sheryl Gascoigne”. Well, Paul Gascoigne’s ex-wife is not an England footballer, so remove the comma after “footballer”. Thank you.

    Then, the use of the word “suggested” for the newspaper’s own claims (which were proved to be false) and the words “claimed” and “falsely” to describe those of Sheryl Gascoigne (which were proved to be true) don’t do the paper any favours. If you’re wrong, admit it properly and don’t pussyfoot around it.

    To the reader: for “We recently accepted in court that each of these allegations was untrue”, please read “it was decided at the High Court that we would pay a five-figure sum in libel damages”.

    Bad stuff. The link to the apology is here.

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