A quick peer into the eerie world of PR. Asked what the significance of their new chocolate bar was, a large and well-known company replied:
In tests, the chosen variants showed high reach, and frequency in addition to incremental occasions, while also showing a low level of self-cannibalisation.
Now I know what they mean… but when you are trying to sell your tasty new snack, surely anything that conjures up an image of gnawing at one’s own flesh should be avoided?
It continues:
Our consumers are living in a time-starved world and are constantly balancing the value from their time.
Time-starved, eh? All the more reason to… eat a chocolate bar?
And more:
We exist to make you smile, so we’ve made a new range of products of even more of the delicious ingredients you love added in.
And there was me thinking it was all about money. Ahh, but it’s smiles! Love it.
Oh. And. Note to self. It is programme. Programme. No skimping on the m and the e! Program is for Americans. Programme for us Brits. Unless we are talking computer programs, in which case we come over all a bit yankee. But otherwise, programme, programme, programme!
Rantings of a sub-editor 